Diary of a Porcelain Doll

February 19th, 2009

My phobia of four-sided things was never really resolved in my last few days before becoming a bride. I was incredibly frightened when on the day I moved out of my home, my idiotic servant shoved me into a rectangular box and closed the lid. I could hear her outside of the case, going about her daily duties and sniffling back tears when she remembered walking in on her husband and his cheating harlot. That was a very fun day, I have to admit.

But I was so very terrified and furious at the same time for being locked in a box again, and by my blubbering servant, no less. But my ferocity quickly disappeared when I heard his voice speaking. Oh, so smooth and velvety it could send shivers down my spine. Even now I am sighing as I recall the huskiness of his voice.

It wasn't long before I realized that this box was what he was using to transport me to my new home, as a safety precaution so I don't damage my breathtaking physique. I was so touched that he cared so deeply for me, so I gulped back my fears and waited patiently. The trip took a fair amount of time, with many bumps along the way, but I bit my lip and refused to cry out.

The lid of the box finally opened, and my eyes needed to adjust to the brightness before I clearly saw his face and... the face of another woman beside him. Taken back, I regret to say I could only watch in horror as the woman cried out excitedly and pressed a passionate kiss to his lips. My heart was slowly tearing in half, bit by bit as I witnessed the heartfelt display of love between the two. In my mind, I couldn't help but cry out, "who is this other woman?!" only to realize that the other woman was me.

Irony at its best, I suppose.

After a few more heartfelt kisses that slowly managed to render my heart empty and cold, the woman picked me up in her hands with care, obviously knowing the fragility of my form. She carried me through the hallways, almost all the way to the other side of the house before turning into a room and flicking the lights on. I was astounded to see the rows and rows of porcelain dolls littering the shelves, realizing this was to be my fate for the rest of my life.

Many of them called out to me; some questioning, others teasing. I couldn't speak for a small while, having been so overcome by the appearance of so many of my kind.

The woman walked over to a spot on one of the shelves, delicately setting me down and smiling before she left the room. The lights flicked off, but the sunlight from the window still gave enough clarity for me to look at the doll sitting on my left. He was a boy, with handsome dark hair and glittering green eyes. I felt that same heated feeling sweep up to my cheeks, leaving a strange panging in my once-cold heart as he smiled at me.

"Hullo." He greeted with his strange accent. It left a breathlessness to my voice as I replied in turn,

"Hello."




February 18th, 2009

He came again. Stepped right through the front door with his blonde hair glowing in the early morning sun. My heart started fluttering again when he gave me a glance from the corner of his eye. They were a striking blue, almost piercing straight into my soul! I was quite embarrassed that morning, not having proper hold of my bearings until he brushed past the piano and into the kitchen. It was unfortunate that I lost sight of him for the moment, but it was ample time for me to regain my proper demeanour.

He emerged again from kitchen and this time stared straight at me. My heart skipped a beat more than once and I felt that familiar heat rise to my cheeks. He was still talking to my bug-eyed servant, and I was thankful that I was not so entranced by his sapphire orbs to miss out on his discussion. It was the best thing I've ever heard in my entire life sitting atop this mundane piano (as no one ever plays it anymore). I could barely stop the giddy feeling that raced through my body.

He was taking me away! Whisking me to his home, and undoubtedly scandalous a suggestion it was, I'm sure he will hold true to his honour and wed me fairly soon. Oh, it is so exciting! Finally, finally like my mother before me (though I strangely cannot remember her) I will don a dress of white. I will carry a bouquet of flowers and decorate my face even more beautifully than it is decorated now. I will have a maid of honour, and bridesmaids and be united with my husband-to-be under the eyes of God.

I will be a bride.




February 17th, 2009

Ah, the dawn of another morning. I find myself rising with the sun these days, as its blasted light shines on my delicate eyes through the clear windows. I suppose it was much better than that horrible dark place where I could hardly breathe. It was terrifying in there, so much so that I now have this strange irrational fear of four-sided things...

But that's all in the past now. The sunlight is my present and will hopefully remain my future. After all, who can see such glorious perfection if it is hidden away in that tenebrious black hole? Certainly not the striking young man my idiotic servant brought in just a little while ago. Of course, though handsome he is it came as a surprise to me when he actually noticed my high standing. I thought for sure he would merely pass by my perch on this blasted piano without a second thought, just like all the others before him. But he didn't.

And you wouldn't believe how my heart fluttered so when he turned to my harebrained servant and actually asked about me. It was the most exhilarating moment of my life! If my cheeks had never always been that wondrous rosy colour I am almost positive it would've begun to be from the way my face flushed.

So it was a mighty disappointment when after learning of my history he merely turned and breezed past me without another inquiry. I often wonder if this is how my servant would feel if she realized her husband was committing adultery with some blonde-haired bimbo. Like someone had reached inside of me and ripped my heart straight out from my chest. And when the worst of the pain faded, I could still feel the dull throbs of agony wracking my body.

The sunlight in the window began to turn into a hazy orange glow, and I suddenly couldn't wait for night to come.




February 16th, 2009

That asinine servant that has been bumbling around the room for weeks on end has finally decided to pay some attention to her master and rid me of that cumbersome dust settling on my otherwise flawless form. Now my beautiful effulgent green dress will be the envy of everyone who sees me. Splendid!

Now if only that idiotic servant would realize that atop the piano is not an easily accessible place for people to worship me. I may be the master of all who step into this humble abode, but I am not so haughty as to (literally) place myself higher than them. Although I must admit that blasted servant must not be so foolish as this spot so high up in the air has certain... advantages.

But she still is very foolish, not even realizing that her pathetic excuse for a husband has been cheating on her with some featherbrained harlot.

Why if he was my husband... well I probably shouldn't get into that. To be unmarried is a most embarrassing thing, especially at an age like mine. It is once again another display of foolishness from my foolish servant, seeing as all the prospective suitors cannot see me from such a height. All my beauty, gone to waste. Dreadful, it is. Absolutely dreadful. Any man would be lucky to have me. I'm beautiful, much more beautiful than any virgin that has stepped through these doors.

It confuses me, how all those less enchanting than I have already been united in holy matrimony. It often makes me wonder if my availability has anything to do with being too beautiful. But that's preposterous! No one can be too beautiful, especially not me. The seductiveness of my face and purity of my body has nothing to do with my current unmarried state.

Right?