The Former Richest Man In The World

This is intended for all ages. It's purpose is to show that sometimes you're so hell bent on getting more that you fail to notice what you already have.




Bill Gates: (sobbing) I-I mean, how could he just take it all away?!

Michelle: But... you still have like, billions of dollars.

Bill Gates: (wails) It's not the same!!

Michelle: Oh for the love of Warren...

Bill: That's him! That's the guy who stole my title! My precious title... (sobs)

Michelle: It can't be that bad. I mean, seriously you can still be richer than him.

Bill: Really?

Michelle: Well, yeah. All you have to do is make more money, right? You could try investing in some stocks...

Bill: Warren got rich off investing. It just might work! Ha! Buffett, you're going down!

(Bill prances off to continue his scheme of reclaiming his title.)

Michelle: Rich people are incredibly baffling...

Oprah And Hot Dogs

This is intended for anyone who tends to overwork themselves. Its purpose is to show that while working hard is good, sometimes you need to take a breather for yourself and that's perfectly fine.




Oprah: I haven't had one of these in forever!

Michelle: I never really liked hot dogs. Unless my mom's friend makes them.

Oprah: Oh, is that why you got a sausage instead?

Michelle: Yep.

(Michelle and Oprah begin to eat their hot dog/sausage.)

Oprah: I almost forgot what a hot dog tastes like.

Michelle: I guess that happens when you're rich and famous and have oodles of money to spend. It sucks for us normal folk.

Oprah: I don't know about that. Being a celebrity gets a little... tiring sometimes.

Michelle: You mean in between the host talking and other miscellaneous charitable things you have to do?

Oprah: Well... yes. I was scheduled to speak at a charity convention right now, but I chose to come here and eat hot dogs with you! Is that strange?

Michelle: No. Celebrities need breaks more than any of us. You guys are under so much pressure. It's good to take a breather every now and then, so long as you don't make a huge habit of it.

Oprah: Of course, you're right, you're right. (Pause) Well I'm glad I took this opportunity. Thank you for inviting me out for hot dogs. I feel much better now.

Michelle: No problem. You paid for it, so I'm good.

Conversing With Our Father

This is intended for everyone. Its purpose is to remind everyone that no matter how much you believe your religion or your views are right, you'll never really know until you die. Because if you die and go to heaven, obviously there's a god. If not... well, good luck with that.




Michelle: I don't believe you exist.

Adam: Then why do I stand before you now?

Michelle: I dunno. Maybe you're some creepy homeless man pretending to be Adam.

Adam: You think in strange ways, child. Do you oppose our God?

Michelle: I don't oppose him. I just don't believe in him. Like I don't believe in you.

Adam: That is a puzzling statement, daughter.

Michelle: I'm not your daughter.

Adam: You have descended from me, as all the others of this planet. You are all brothers and sisters, and you are all my children.

Michelle: Yeah... that's gross.

Adam: It is what I have stated it is.

Michelle: Well, whatever.

(Silence)

Adam: Child, if you do not believe in our God, then what is it that brings you fulfillment?

Michelle: Nothing.

Adam: Nothing?

Michelle: That's right.

Adam: Surely there must be something, dear child.

Michelle: Well... I guess I kinda believe in reincarnation. Does that count?

Adam: An interesting theory, child. But our God still reins in a world of his children.

Michelle: True. Christianity and Catholicism is pretty much apparent everywhere in the world.

Adam: So you agree?

Michelle: Yeah. But I still don't think there's a god.

Adam: How do you know for sure, child?

Michelle: I don't. But I guess I'll find out when I die.

Adam: Quite a long wait, is it not?

Michelle: I'd prefer it that way.

(Adam vanishes into thin air.)

Dance Lessons With Mary Murphy

This is intended for anyone who likes watching So You Think You Can Dance. Its purpose is to put a little light on some of Mary Murphy's life before becoming a judge, and also to show that you can always start something later in life, but you just need the dedication to succeed in it.




Michelle: You were a champion ballroom dancer?

Mary: Of course. You have to be pretty damn good to judge on a TV show, I'm tellin' ya.

Michelle: That's so cool! I've always wanted to learn dance, but I'm too lazy. (laughs)

Mary: Laziness is an absolute no-no in dance. You gotta be hardworking and dedicated! Like some of the competitors on "So You Think You Can Dance".

Michelle: Those people are crazy good.

Mary: (sighs) Reminds me of my younger days.

Michelle: So what did you do after you retired from competitive dancing?

Mary: Focused on my dance school. I became a dance double for some movies too.

Michelle: Seriously?! Which ones?

Mary: "Something To Talk About" and "Dance With Me".

Michelle: Never heard of them.

Mary: You were probably too young to watch them.

Michelle: Probably. (Pause) Hey, if I started learning dance now, do you think I could be any good?

Mary: What kind of a question is that? Of course you can! It'll be harder, sure, but as long as you're dedicated to learning and not lazy, it's a no brainer.

Michelle: Cool! (Pause) Wanna teach me?

Mary: Fork up some money and we'll see.

Michelle: But your lessons are so expensive!

Mary: Tough nuts, kid.