The Blame Game

This is intended for anyone who thinks they can get away with lying. The purpose is to show that there will always be contradictions with your lies, and even if you are never found out, it will come back to bite you in the butt later. (Karma, people.)




Madonna, or rather her spokesperson Liz Rosenburg, claims that Thomas Hinton (a paparazzi photographer) scared her horse when he jumped out of the bushes, causing her to crash to the ground. Although her injuries weren't serious ("minor injuries" and some bruises), they could have been, as the last time she fell Madonna cracked three of her ribs and broke her collarbone and her hand. It makes a person wonder why someone would be so callous as to scare a horse when his "target", per say, is riding on it.

But the worst of it is his blatant lie to get out of trouble. Honestly, Madonna would have never suffered that tumble if the horse wasn't spooked in the first place. And the horse wouldn't be spooked if there was no, oh let's see, paparazzi hiding in the bushes readying himself to jump out and scare it.

Hinton claims he was on a public road and photographed her before and after her fall. He claims he didn't see her actually fall from her horse. But if he was tipped off that Madonna was in Hampton, wouldn't he follow her around all day and snap photographs of her once he's found her? Surely he wouldn't snap photos of Madonna, take a five-minute break at a coffee shop and then go looking for her again?

Certainly not. That would be called, "losing the trail".

So it is quite obvious to believe that Thomas Hinton was there when Madonna took her fall, because he was the one that instigated it.

Adoption At A Price

This is intended for all parents. It's purpose is to express how desperate people will get sometimes for money.




Rubina Ali's father attempts to sell his child to a tabloid reporter posing as an interested Arab sheikh. This type of behaviour questions the integrity of the young girl's father, who claims "I declined" the offer of the reporter in disguise. But that contradicts the information provided by The News of the World. They claimed Qureshi demanded 20 million rupees (400 000 dollars), for the adoption of his daughter. I believe Qureshi was lying when he claimed he denied selling his daughter, because Rubina's mother claimed to have overheard his intention concerning Rubina prior to the actual meeting. Also, if he had no intentions of selling his own daughter, would he not have gone to the meeting in the first place? Quershi actually accepted to meet the man who had approached him with the offer to buy his daughter.

With a newspaper, his daughter's mother, and his own foolishness, Quershi cannot pretend to have declined the offer of the "wealthy Arab sheikh". He cannot pretend he was unwilling to sell his own daughter for money.

The Former Richest Man In The World

This is intended for all ages. It's purpose is to show that sometimes you're so hell bent on getting more that you fail to notice what you already have.




Bill Gates: (sobbing) I-I mean, how could he just take it all away?!

Michelle: But... you still have like, billions of dollars.

Bill Gates: (wails) It's not the same!!

Michelle: Oh for the love of Warren...

Bill: That's him! That's the guy who stole my title! My precious title... (sobs)

Michelle: It can't be that bad. I mean, seriously you can still be richer than him.

Bill: Really?

Michelle: Well, yeah. All you have to do is make more money, right? You could try investing in some stocks...

Bill: Warren got rich off investing. It just might work! Ha! Buffett, you're going down!

(Bill prances off to continue his scheme of reclaiming his title.)

Michelle: Rich people are incredibly baffling...

Oprah And Hot Dogs

This is intended for anyone who tends to overwork themselves. Its purpose is to show that while working hard is good, sometimes you need to take a breather for yourself and that's perfectly fine.




Oprah: I haven't had one of these in forever!

Michelle: I never really liked hot dogs. Unless my mom's friend makes them.

Oprah: Oh, is that why you got a sausage instead?

Michelle: Yep.

(Michelle and Oprah begin to eat their hot dog/sausage.)

Oprah: I almost forgot what a hot dog tastes like.

Michelle: I guess that happens when you're rich and famous and have oodles of money to spend. It sucks for us normal folk.

Oprah: I don't know about that. Being a celebrity gets a little... tiring sometimes.

Michelle: You mean in between the host talking and other miscellaneous charitable things you have to do?

Oprah: Well... yes. I was scheduled to speak at a charity convention right now, but I chose to come here and eat hot dogs with you! Is that strange?

Michelle: No. Celebrities need breaks more than any of us. You guys are under so much pressure. It's good to take a breather every now and then, so long as you don't make a huge habit of it.

Oprah: Of course, you're right, you're right. (Pause) Well I'm glad I took this opportunity. Thank you for inviting me out for hot dogs. I feel much better now.

Michelle: No problem. You paid for it, so I'm good.

Conversing With Our Father

This is intended for everyone. Its purpose is to remind everyone that no matter how much you believe your religion or your views are right, you'll never really know until you die. Because if you die and go to heaven, obviously there's a god. If not... well, good luck with that.




Michelle: I don't believe you exist.

Adam: Then why do I stand before you now?

Michelle: I dunno. Maybe you're some creepy homeless man pretending to be Adam.

Adam: You think in strange ways, child. Do you oppose our God?

Michelle: I don't oppose him. I just don't believe in him. Like I don't believe in you.

Adam: That is a puzzling statement, daughter.

Michelle: I'm not your daughter.

Adam: You have descended from me, as all the others of this planet. You are all brothers and sisters, and you are all my children.

Michelle: Yeah... that's gross.

Adam: It is what I have stated it is.

Michelle: Well, whatever.

(Silence)

Adam: Child, if you do not believe in our God, then what is it that brings you fulfillment?

Michelle: Nothing.

Adam: Nothing?

Michelle: That's right.

Adam: Surely there must be something, dear child.

Michelle: Well... I guess I kinda believe in reincarnation. Does that count?

Adam: An interesting theory, child. But our God still reins in a world of his children.

Michelle: True. Christianity and Catholicism is pretty much apparent everywhere in the world.

Adam: So you agree?

Michelle: Yeah. But I still don't think there's a god.

Adam: How do you know for sure, child?

Michelle: I don't. But I guess I'll find out when I die.

Adam: Quite a long wait, is it not?

Michelle: I'd prefer it that way.

(Adam vanishes into thin air.)

Dance Lessons With Mary Murphy

This is intended for anyone who likes watching So You Think You Can Dance. Its purpose is to put a little light on some of Mary Murphy's life before becoming a judge, and also to show that you can always start something later in life, but you just need the dedication to succeed in it.




Michelle: You were a champion ballroom dancer?

Mary: Of course. You have to be pretty damn good to judge on a TV show, I'm tellin' ya.

Michelle: That's so cool! I've always wanted to learn dance, but I'm too lazy. (laughs)

Mary: Laziness is an absolute no-no in dance. You gotta be hardworking and dedicated! Like some of the competitors on "So You Think You Can Dance".

Michelle: Those people are crazy good.

Mary: (sighs) Reminds me of my younger days.

Michelle: So what did you do after you retired from competitive dancing?

Mary: Focused on my dance school. I became a dance double for some movies too.

Michelle: Seriously?! Which ones?

Mary: "Something To Talk About" and "Dance With Me".

Michelle: Never heard of them.

Mary: You were probably too young to watch them.

Michelle: Probably. (Pause) Hey, if I started learning dance now, do you think I could be any good?

Mary: What kind of a question is that? Of course you can! It'll be harder, sure, but as long as you're dedicated to learning and not lazy, it's a no brainer.

Michelle: Cool! (Pause) Wanna teach me?

Mary: Fork up some money and we'll see.

Michelle: But your lessons are so expensive!

Mary: Tough nuts, kid.

To Run In The Rain

This is intended for everyone who prefers to look at the glass half-empty. Its purpose is to show that maybe you should try looking on the brighter side, because not only is it a nice change, it brings about positive feelings. It might even change your life for the better.




I told them it was going to rain, but would they listen to me? Nope. I told them to bring an umbrella, but would they listen? Still no. What am I, chopped liver? They should know by now that I have a really freaky way of predicting the weather; it's been happening since I was seven!

Oh joy. Now my cute new pink shirt is drenched in rainwater. And my converse. And my white pants. Hopefully that doesn't become sheer and show everyone my bunny-patterned panties. That would majorly suck, especially since I can spot a few cute guys loitering around...

Even though I'm getting soaked to the bone, I still have to admit that running around in the rain is fun. Liberating, even. The sound of my shoes against the wet cement sounds nice, and the cold rain is a nice contrast to the humidity of the restaurant we were just in. It feels good to run in the rain.

But although running in the rain is fun, dancing in it is way better.